


Awake

by fromthedeskoftheraven



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Kissing, Lake-town, Pregnancy, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 17:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7541761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthedeskoftheraven/pseuds/fromthedeskoftheraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili learns his wife has been keeping a life-changing secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awake

Your first night in Laketown had begun as a celebration.

In the blink of an eye, the Company had ceased to be prisoners and become honored guests, feted with an abundant banquet and given the finest rooms the Master of the town had to offer. At this point in your journey, a real bed and a private chamber were the most extravagant of luxuries, and Fili’s face had fairly glowed with gladness and relief as he’d surveyed the warm, comfortable room you were to share.

At last, after the terrors of the Misty Mountains and the humiliation of Mirkwood, your fortunes had taken a turn for the better…and yet, for all the evening’s promise, the midnight hour found you lying alone in the large bed, your pillow damp with tears and your heart heavy with the sudden, wrenching revelation of the secret you’d taken such pains to keep.

For weeks, you had relied on the concealment of heavy traveling clothes and dark campsites, and on your vigilance in drawing Fili’s attention away from the beginnings of swelling in your belly that a husband’s eyes and hands couldn’t fail to notice, all the while stifling the voice of reason in your head that relentlessly reminded you that Fili would have to know sometime.

_Perhaps tomorrow_ , you would concede, knowing full well that tomorrow would bring a new excuse for hiding the truth, and with every postponement the tiny life within you continued to grow.

Now, all your precautions had come to nothing in the bright lamplight of the Master’s house when you’d stepped out of the bath just as Fili had slipped down the hall to surprise you by joining you.

With a sinking heart, you had watched his smile fade as his eyes slid over your bare body to the now-unmistakable curve of your abdomen and widened in realization. When they met yours again, you’d found astonishment there, confusion…and hurt. Ashamed, you’d fled his wounded gaze to the refuge of your chamber and braced yourself for his arrival, but the minutes ticked by, the house settled into peaceful silence, and still you remained alone with your regrets in the empty room.

Abruptly, the quiet was shattered by the click of the turning doorknob. You quickly turned your back to the door, forcing your breathing to evenness and lying as still as possible under the bedcoverings. Hinges creaked with opening and closing and the bolt slid home with a metallic snick, and you waited, frozen, while Fili stood motionless and silent for a long moment before blowing sharply to douse the lamp, leaving the room in darkness save for the light of the full moon that streamed in hazily through the small window. 

The bed frame creaked as he sat on its edge, and the rustling of fabric told you he was peeling off his clothes, letting them fall in a heap on the floor, along with the soft thump of his boots. With a sigh, he slipped under the blankets to lie down, and if you had been prepared for coldness, distance, you found your eyes welling anew when he moved close behind you to curl his warm, strong body protectively around yours, as he did every night.

**“I know you’re awake,”** he murmured, his fingers gently smoothing your hair behind your shoulder.

Your breath shuddered in your throat at this unexpected tenderness, and you blinked futilely to contain the tears that streamed down your cheeks.

Fili’s hand lingered on your thigh before inching beneath the loose fabric of your chemise, and your heart leapt in your chest at his short, soft exhale when his broad palm, warm on your skin, rested carefully on the budding roundness of your belly that harbored his child.

“Oh, love,” he sighed, **“when were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”**

The wistfulness in his voice caused something inside you to break, and your shoulders shook with pent-up sobs while he held you, whispering soothing noises and waiting patiently for your weeping to ebb.

“ _Azyungâl_ ,” he pleaded, “look at me.”

Sniffling, you turned over to lie facing him as he enfolded you in his arms, and his expression was mournful at the sight of your tear-stained face in the dim light.

“Mahal curse me for making you cry,” he murmured, stroking his thumb across your wet cheek, but you quickly shook your head.

“It’s not your fault.” 

“I should have come to you right away, instead of wandering the town in a daze…it’s only that it was a shock,” Fili admitted, “to find out in the same instant that I’m going to be a father, and that you’ve been keeping it from me.”

“I should have told you, I’m so sorry,” you said contritely, “I didn’t want you to have one thing more to worry about.”

“I do worry, it’s true,” he mused, “I cannot foresee what dangers lie ahead, and you know I will protect you both to my last breath…but there’s more than that. You’ve given me a whole new purpose. Reclaiming Erebor is about more than treasure, more than the arkenstone, more than restoring a kingdom. It’s about having a home for our family, where our child can grow up in peace and safety. That’s what matters to me now. That’s what gives me courage.”

“Look at you,” you managed a wobbly grin through happier tears, “I should have known you’d be a wonderful father already.”

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then, growing more solemn, to your lips. “Just promise me that you will let me bear a father’s responsibilities, and share the joys _and_ the fears with you,” he said quietly. “Don’t try to carry the burdens alone that rightfully belong to both of us.”

“I promise. Truly, I do,” you nodded, nestling gratefully against his broad chest. “I love you, Fili…so much.”

“As I love you, my _ghivâshel_ ,” Fili smiled, and he glanced to where his fingertips caressed your belly, adding in a tender tone, “and you, little one.”

You beamed at his words, but still a cloud darkened your happiness, and your voice was small as you asked, “do you think we’ll find the door tomorrow?” In truth, this was the least of your fears, but you shied away even from naming the possibility of finding a live dragon behind that hidden door.

“I don’t know,” he answered, his face mirroring your anxious thoughts, but he shook his head as if to throw off his doubts, giving you a bracing squeeze. “We shall deal with tomorrow when it comes. For tonight, let’s just enjoy the comforts of Laketown, hmm?”

He smiled that warm, encouraging smile that always made you melt, and your lips met his lovingly, your fingers stroked through his beard, delved into his hair as the spark between you caught and grew slowly into a flame. Fili’s hand moved to cup your backside firmly, but when you draped your arm around his neck to press your hips to his, he hummed against your mouth and pulled away to look at you with concern.

“Can we still…” He raised his eyebrows delicately, drawing a giggle from you.

“If the gossip among the ladies in Ered Luin is to be believed,” you said impishly, “we’ve got months yet before we’ll have to get creative.”

A wide grin dimpled his cheeks, and you moved to claim more kisses, but his hands cradling your face stopped you, and he seemed to study you, gently tracing the swell of your lower lip with his thumb. His expression bordered on reverence, making you feel suddenly shy.

“What is it?”

He placed a feather-light kiss on the tip of your nose. “You’ve made me the happiest man in the world,” he murmured, “and always will.”


End file.
